im a quitter i guess

As much as I enjoy doing Usana, it seems like the time has come for me to quit.

My whole life I've always felt like I'm being judged. From when I was little, people would judge my family, to now, people would judge me. It's horrible. I hate it. I want to crawl in a hole and get away from it all.

It might just be my imagination, but in Usana, I still feel judged. Yesterday we had focus group and then lunar new years celebrations. It was so much fun! I started drinking at 12pm -.-" . After that, I went with my Usana bro's (lol) to Box Hill and we continued drinking there.

It was in Box Hill that I started to feel like shit. I don't kow if it was because I had been drinking and was being loud, but once again I felt those judging eyes on me. Coming from my Usana family, it made me feel so low. I may have been feeling it because one of them knows one of my deepest and darkest secrets and every fear I had just came out. It could also be because another called me annoying. Ouch.

Either way, whatever the reason. I left box hill to meet my good good friend Ta (we call her tasex LOLs!) & her boyfriend Luuey. We went basslounge (a club in the city) for a night out. I drank more there. Ughs. I ended up getting picked up by a dude that was celebrating his 25th birthday. He tried to kiss me, I walked away. Then he went up to tasex & said he'll be able to get me home BECAUSE IM EASY. I'll show you easy. He was given he cold shoulder after that. I don't like getting picked up when I go clubbing so when he said that I wanted to knee him in the balls. Jerkface.

Also got picked up by another girlfriend's (JenJen) friend. A dude called Andy? Too short sorry. He did by me a rose however. I think I gave it to Luuey's mates LOL!

I also made a friend, a random girl Rianna asked to dance with us because she was there with guys only. I got her number. I'll definitely be giving her a call next time I go out, she was fun & even protected me from random jerks that wanted to dirty dance with me!

So a drunken Lunar New Year, with me STILL being hunover at 2.30pm..and what happens today reflects the rest of the year. What a fun year this will be =]

Such a shame that I don't have the guts or confidence to continue Usana. Looks like my journey to financial freedom is going to be put on hold. Instead of retiring at the age of 30, I'll be retiring at the age of 40. Goodnight world, I'm going back to sleeping my hangover off.

xox
beckies nguyen